Every year I fall more and more in love with the seasons – they seem to resonate a little more with me especially now that I am outside in nature all the time. There’s no hiding from the elements when you work on a dairy farm!
But by far the most lovely time of year would have to be autumn.
It seems at the moment there are days when life rolls on quietly and sweetly.
And then there are days where progress is slow…like wading into untested flood waters. You go in further, the waters rise and the currents grow stronger. You become unsure of the safety of your next step, working hard just to keep balanced. At the moment for me, there are days – even weeks – where I have sat pondering what next. Where to? What for? And why? But most of all how do I get to where I want to be? And where exactly do I want to be……???
In this state, just the simplest of things leave you stuck with more questions than answers.
Whether it’s the stars, the moon, the season or the time change lately I’ve been left to wonder and wander. It seems that the faster I try to move, the more overwhelmed and out of control I feel. The edges of my world become blurred, my focus of gone. Things are left to pile up – washing, dishes, unread emails and books. I stop doing the things I enjoy, like craft, creating, music and cooking. My mind begins to race, looking for answers and solutions.
And once I feel overwhelmed like this my go-to reaction (head) kicks in to hyper drive to bring things under “control”. The more I have pushed to right myself lately, the further I have fallen out of kilter.